If you're an equestrian, a New Year comes with a lot of promise - new show season, hopefully training progress, and if you're incredibly lucky maybe even a new horse. However, if we're being honest with ourselves, 2018 is likely to bring a lot more of the same. But we're OK with it. After all, our instructors say consistency is key, right?
Here's a general forecast predicting what equestrians can expect in the year 2018:
1. Prepare to say goodbye to a lot of Benjamins. If you’re horse is boarded in an area where land is expensive and you splurge for full training expect to pay roughly $28,000 big ones on your horse this year. That is of course barring any major showing expenses or vet bills. And yes, we do consider $500 for stifle injections ‘minor’. Luckily, my annual total will come under this, but I can’t reveal the lucky number. My husband reads this blog.
2. You'll be gifted 9 tons of manure by the average horse. Yep, you read that right. And if you’ve got the ‘traditional’ Dressage Horse (a.k.a. warmblood and 16h+), jack that number up a bit. No wonder our manure fork prongs are perpetually broken.
3. Fingers crossed, a fall-free year. I'm coming on year three and I'd like to make it a hat trick. If I can't win at 3rd level, at least let me win at this. Equestrian gods hear my prayer!
4. A new collection of ribbons that costs less than our braiding bands. If 2017 is any indicator, I can expect about $3.50 worth of ribbons. I’d like more in my favorite color though. Blue only, please.
5. All carrots, all the time. At 10 pounds of carrots per month, my horse is consuming annually my goal weight in the orange veggie. California farmers have a lot to thank equestrians for. Consider us the unspoken supporter of the carrot industry.
6. Presumably, millions of hairs shed. These tiny adhesive fibers are unleashed twice yearly in a mad frenzy. Now add to that how many hairs are lost to clipping. It's no wonder the inside of my car looks the way it does.
7. 75 bank checks annually. And admit that the only reason we carry a checkbook is to pay for our horses, because the equestrian world is one of the only industries that still deals in check. Credit cards and Venmo aren't welcome here.
8. Six new saddle pads. None of which are needed. This brings us to the next topic - the number of Dover sales we'll fall victim to. Remember, you are not powerless. When the email comes will curiosity kill the cat or will you be strong enough to click ‘DELETE’?
9. Health concerns. Lameness scares, panicked calls to the vet, fear of major illnesses that turn out to just be bug bites. Yes, we will get to do all of this, all over again. Happy New Year, to you and I.
10. 365 days of nickers. Hopefully. And if not 365, at least one for every horse filled day you have this year. Those greetings make the daily damages at $76.71 and 50 pounds of manure totally worth it. Promise!
(Please note that these numbers are based on my own experiences and the statistics listed (for comical purposes) are the result of Google research. Sometimes Wikipedia lies. Take it with a grain of salt.)